accomplished twins. life is a go
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
