If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
