if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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