I heard we made out
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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