i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
even my farts smell like vagina
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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