Hey man sorry I got all grabby
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
