Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Too much gin, very little bucket
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
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