He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize