Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
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