I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
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