what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
false alarm, still single
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