I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
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