oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
