So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
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