Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
