Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Randomize
