I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Randomize
