I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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