I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
