Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
