Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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