I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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