WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
