Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
