I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
