I bet he comes in French.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
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