I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
