I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Randomize
