Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
