I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
