didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize
