I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
