there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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