my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Randomize
