I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
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