Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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