Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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