I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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