I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
