She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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