I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize