theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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