You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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