We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize