I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Randomize
