cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
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