i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
