What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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