just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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