I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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