if you like me you must not know who I am
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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