i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
