Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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