I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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