Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
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