i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
