shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
