Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
