dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize