My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
