So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
