your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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