when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
another moral hangover. fuck.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
