So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
